a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Acceptance (A Soft Place to Fall – chapter 3 pg. 41-42)

Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.

We have shared some deep pain with each other. Why?

We have created a safe environment; we are a soft place to fall. 

Are you a safe person for hurting people to be around? 

Or, do you have all the answers and just make them feel worse?

May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Accept people just as they are, trusting that God will change them in time. Accepting them as people doesn’t mean you condone their behavior or beliefs. It simply means you respect their humanity enough to let them work through the process. People open their lives to those that accept them the way they are and run from those who are always trying to change them into what they think they should be. (pg. 42-43)

How could we be an even softer place to fall?

Wrap Up:  Origins is a community inspired and created by God to be a soft place to fall. Acceptance is a fundamental element of who we are. We are not here to change each other. We are here to live life together and celebrate the divine moments when we are touched by God and transformed to be more like Christ.

 Next Week: Bearing With One Another (A Soft Place to Fall – Chapter 3 p. 43)
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 

a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Forgiveness (A Soft Place to Fall – chapter 3)

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

(Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT)

Not forgiving is like taking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. - Anne Lamott

Forgiving and accepting are the detergents of body life that allow us to live free of the past. (p. 37)

Then he says, [The Holy Spirit] “I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.” And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.  And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

(Hebrews 10:17-22 NLT)

Being a soft place to fall doesn’t mean we become a doormat for everyone who wants to walk over us, nor that we ignore people’s actions. Forgiving and accepting others simply means that we won’t hold them accountable to us for their failures but will continue to respond to them with love and grace. [grace is the receiving of something we did not deserve] Forgiveness frees us from the destruction others cause. It does not make us a further victim of it.

We can forgive someone who is abusive without continuing to subject ourselves to the abuse. And our forgiveness does not mean that we should keep silent if that person seeks to hurt others.  . . . Forgiveness does not mean that we will forget what happened or pretend it didn’t happen. 

We are a soft place to fall when we love people through their failures and hurts as God draws them closer to Himself and transforms them from within. We will still speak the truth firmly but will do so with gentleness and patience.  (p. 39)

Many people confuse forgiveness with reconciliation, which are two entirely different processes. Forgiveness is a unilateral act.  . . . While it’s always worth the effort to see if reconciliation is possible, we are still free to forgive whether or not the offender ever acknowledges his failure. (p. 40-41)

Wrap Up:  Don’t get discouraged when forgiveness doesn’t come easily. Forgiveness itself is less a choice than it is a process. Yes, we do choose to forgive, [Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.] but often it takes a work of God in our heart to lead us into the full depth and freedom of no longer holding something against someone else. (p. 41)

 Next Week: Accepting One Another (A Soft Place to Fall – Chapter 3)

May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. 6 Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. (Romans 15:5-7 NLT)

Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen

“Wittingly or unwittingly, many of us protect ourselves from the kind of relationships that connect us deeply with others.”(p.16)

“Jesus’ followers were not focused on liturgy, tradition, or growth strategies, but on the power of simple God-centered friendships, both with believers and with those still trapped in the world.” (p.20)

[True] “friends find their origin in God’s heart. No one can love so freely whom God has not first loved deeply.” (p.22)

Lesson Focus: Loving others like God loves you (chapter 2)

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

(John 13:34,35 ESV)

One at a time:

The kind of love Jesus modeled was relational and intimate; one on one. He didn’t tell his small band of disciples to love everyone, serve everyone, and share with everyone. That would be overwhelming.

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Catching up to the youth, he asked why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. “But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish,” countered the other. “How can your effort make any difference?” The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and threw it to safety in the waves. “It makes a difference to this one,” he said.

(Loren C. Eiseley “The Star Thrower.” Harcourt Brace. 1979)

How would it change your day to look for individuals to love in the moment rather than try to act like you love everybody?

Not Getting, but Giving:

It is quite natural to think; “Where could I find a friend who knows how to “one another”.

The answer is to be one of these people.

“Perhaps the greatest freedom of one anothering is the freedom God gives us not to be focused on ourselves all the time.” (p.29)

Living Loved:

“just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” – verse 34

“You cannot forgive others if you are experiencing God’s forgiveness for you. You cannot serve others unless you know that God is providing everything you need. You cannot live in kindness to others until you see God’s kindness toward you.” (p.29)

In what ways have you treated others that reflect how you thought about God?

 Or – how have you been treated?. . . (if you need it)

Christ’s love frees us to live loved.

“Living in God’s love is the first step to one anothering. If you don’t discover that first, this process will wear you out with self-generated good works that will not bear the fruit of His kingdom.” (p.30)

The Fruits of One Anothering:

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” – verse 35

“There is no greater tool for touching the world than simple demonstrations of love. In fact, Jesus invited the world to judge the authenticity of the gospel we proclaim by the way we show love for others.” (p.31)

“A self-centered life is its own punishment. When our relationships with others are filled with expectations and demands that they do what we want, the result is stress, disappointment, and despair.” (p.31)

The Greatest is Love:

“Love on another” is the ultimate one anothering Scripture. All the others are expressions of how we let God’s love live out through us.” (p.31)

“This is the best of what the Christian life has to offer. Jump in and discover just how transforming a life lived in love can truly be.” (p.32)