The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, P. Scazzero and W.Bird

 “Most of us are starved for time, overscheduled and preoccupied. Few of us have time to enjoy the Lord Jesus, our spouses, our children, or life itself, left alone the gift of leading/serving others. We think, “The space I need for replenishing my soul and relaxing will happen later”. There is simply too much to be done. Slowing down to lead with integrity is a counter-cultural act of rebellion in our busy world. Yet focusing on the integrity of our relationship with God, ourselves, our spouses, and our friends and ministry partners is the greatest gift we can give those around us” (p.67 wrkbk).

Complete the following sentence as it relates to what you have learned about yourself in this study:  “I am beginning to realize…”              

some examples:

….that I need to put first things first (my relationship with God) and trust Him to take care of the secondary things (Matt 6:33).

….that I often busy doing things for people but I don’t always love people in ways that they
recognize as love.

….that I tend to live from crisis to crisis.

….that I still have habits from my family that I need to get rid of and change for the better.

….that I can be really immature when I don’t get my way.

….that I find it hard to let others see my weaknesses and fears.

….that I am not really in touch with my emotional world.

….that the world will go on without me, but I cannot go on without Christ.  Continue Reading…

The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, P. Scazzero and W.Bird

 John 1:14 “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.”

The Message: “The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into our neighborhood.”

 The first five principles are essential before we launch into the next one. By taking a deeper look inside, exploring our past history, finding strength in our brokenness, receiving the gift of limits, and embracing our grief and losses God intends to transform us so that we might love well (p.59 wrkbk).

Can you think of someone who loves (loved) you well?  What did they do that made you feel loved? 

“In emotionally healthy churches, people intentionally follow the model of Jesus. They focus on loving well, recognizing that the indispensable mark of spiritual maturity is not about recognition, numbers, spiritual gifts or Biblical knowledge. The essence of a genuine spiritual life is to love—God, ourselves and other people. They commit to follow the three dynamics of incarnation found in the life of Jesus in order to love other people: entering another’s world, holding on to yourself, and hanging between the two worlds” (p. 180).   

As Christians, we believe in the incarnation of Jesus Christ, who was both fully man and fully God. In a modern paraphrase of fourth century St. Basil, bold pronouncements of what God is saying or doing are common, but people who follow the humble way of Jesus are much more difficult to find (p.182). God our Father knew that we would not be changed until we encountered God in the flesh—“God with skin on”. “Today, God still has skin on and can be seen, touched, and heard. How? Through his body, the church, in whom he dwells. We are called, in the name of Jesus and by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, to be skin for the people around us” (p.183).

Have you ever considered yourself the hands/feet/shoulder/ears of Christ for someone else?   Continue Reading…

The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, P. Scazzero and W.Bird

“In emotionally healthy churches, people embrace grief as a way to become more like God. They understand what a critical component of discipleship grieving our losses is. Why? It’s the only true pathway to becoming a compassionate person like our Lord Jesus.” When I cover over my losses and seek a quick end to my pain, I may be fighting against the work God wants to do to enlarge my soul and mature me (p.159).

God modeled for us grieving in Scripture. Gen 6:6 tells us that “The Lord was grieved that had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. Jesus expressed his agony by offering up “prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears” (Heb. 5:7). The entire book of Lamentations is about disappointment and suffering, and two-thirds of the Psalms are about heartache. Job is among the oldest books in the Bible and is the classic struggle of grief and loss.

Have you experienced a loss in the last year? (don’t limit your thinking only to death)  How did it impact you?  

Our North American culture tends to push sorrow and grieving aside in the hope that by ignoring our pain we can make it disappear. But the degree to which I can learn to grieve my own losses is related to the quality and honesty of my relationship with God and the compassion I can offer others. We usually give people permission to acknowledge the devastating losses in life (divorce, death, abuse, illness, disability, loss of a dream, betrayal or faith shaking disappointment). However, we may dismiss the “natural losses” that occur over time (moving, loss of financial or emotional security, aging, friendships changing, loss of property or a pet, etc) and not recognize how they weigh us down. Another barrier to grieving well is when you know to some degree you have created or helped create “the mess”. Even if you are “reaping what you have sown” there is a proper time to wait on God and honestly face the sadness.

“Forgiveness is not a quick process. I do not believe it is possible to truly forgive another person from the heart until we allow ourselves to feel the pain of what was lost.” Forgiving is more than an act of the will and involves grieving before letting go (whether you are the one in need of forgiveness or the one who needs to forgive) (p.164). Superficial forgiveness may satisfy one’s conscience (or someone else’s expectations) for the moment but is not likely to bring healing. (Note also, that forgiveness does not always mean restoration of the relationship or perhaps not as it was before. For that to happen trust must be slowly and painstakingly restored.)

How well do you forgive? Is it hard for you to get to the point where you want to forgive?   Continue Reading…

The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, P. Scazzero and W. Bird 

“Emotionally healthy people understand the limits God has given them. They joyfully receive the one, two, seven or ten talents God has graciously distributed. As a result, they are not frenzied and covetous, trying to live a life as God never intended. They are marked by contentment and joy”. Emotionally healthy churches also embrace their limits with the same joy and contentment, not attempting to be like another church. They have a confident sense of God’s “good hand” on their church “for such a time as this”’ (Esther 4:11-14) (p.137).

As we live in brokenness and vulnerability (as we studied last week), we become increasingly aware of our limits. And yet the limits that God places on our lives – restrictions of who we can be and what we can do — are a gift from our loving Father.

Do you often, sometimes or rarely …

• Have too little time and too much to do?
• Feel pressured and trapped in your schedule?
• Break promises of quality time with friends and family?
• Never feel finished with work?
• Resent some of your commitments and projects?
• Feel guilty if you say No?

Jesus modeled a life lived within his Father’s limits. He fully accepted his humanity and graciously received all the limitations that came with it. He bought food, traveled, rested and slept the human way. Furthermore, although his heart was to reach the world, Jesus honored the God-given limits of his mission and ministry.  Consequently, he did not fulfill every need during his short earthly life. He disappointed the crowds’ expectations of who he should be. Yet he lived a full life, true and faithful to who he was. He was able to say to his Father, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do” (John 17:4). That is God’s call to each of us (p. 45 workbook). Continue Reading…

The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives, P. Scazzero and W.Bird 

“In emotionally healthy churches, people live and lead out of brokenness and vulnerability. They understand that leadership in the kingdom of God is from the bottom up, not a grasping, controlling, or lording over others. It is leading out of failure and pain, questions and struggles—a serving that lets go” (p.114).

In the last study we saw that our past affects our present. Looking honestly at our families in order to break the power of the past drives us to a sense of brokenness. Living in brokenness and vulnerability means that in all my relationships, I carry with me the profound awareness and humility that I am not perfect—that I fall short, and not just by a little.

A Theology of Weakness:

After Adam and Eve fall in the garden, God lovingly pursues them and makes a way for them to come back to him (Gen 5:8) and promises that He will overcome the serpent (Gen 3:15). However, as a result of the fall there is now a curse of “thorns and thistles” (Gen 3:18) meaning that all of life from then on will be painful, difficult and frustrating. The curse affects our relationships (3:16) and work (3:17-19). Relationships are marked by power struggles, manipulation, put-downs, defensiveness and withdrawal. We all struggle with loneliness in relationships and a sense that no matter the success, it’s not enough. Restlessness and incompleteness are the hallmark of our working lives (p. 116).

Have you ever wondered what your sense of loneliness and restlessness in life means?  Continue Reading…